Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Tick Tick Tick

So another oncologist appointment and the blood draws that occur with each. Finally feel like I am over the 6-8 weeks of sinus and respiratory infection, coughing and just ready to get going again. Overall well but the WBC is rising. Sure it could go much higher before major symptoms arise and other numbers start being affected, kind of feel like a race to see how high the numbers can go without needing treatment, nothing like the watch and wait.

Had the vision of the ticking time bomb waiting...waiting...waiting...

Then I thought, what not a better reason to enjoy every day, find time to laugh, enjoy those around me and count my blessings as they say down in the south. Sounds kind of cliche' but a time bomb growing within my body, tends to send a strong message, one that I might not have had before, to get going on the life thing, and so on...tick tick tick


CLL SPOUSE said...

I nodded through this whole post - the tick, tick, tick and the need to hone (or find) that 'live life today' muscle. (I find it an ongoing challenge, but a worthwhile one.)

Love your graphic here. Hope the tick, tick, tick launches you off toward some unexpectedly good places, places you might not have otherwise gone.

Brian Koffman said...


The bard said: Present mirth has present laughter.

No point in not enjoying the moment. Dr. Weiss from Sloan Kettering thought that watching WBC counts rise was of little help.

What matters is how you feel and if you are avoiding the minefields of anemia and low platelets. The rest doesn't count.

Be well


Anonymous said...

Just had my quarterly blood draw done . .all is well except for the WBC.

Why do I always feel there should be something I can do to MAKE them go down? Why do I always feel defeated . .like this is the # to watch?

You described it to a tee, or should I say tick:)?

By the way . . .I love your blog:)

Wendy S. Harpham, MD said...

There is a big difference between wanting to embrace the moment in the face of uncertainty and actually doing so.

Believe me, I wanted to let go of my many fears -- of recurrence, unresponsive disease, side effects, late effects -- long before I could actually do it.

It was a skill not unlike many others: It benefits from good teachers, hope, will power and practice. Lots and lots of practice.

I can honestly say that now, after 18 years of being in and out of treatment for an indolent lymphoma, I rarely worry about tomorrow.

I don't like how I had to learn it, but I am grateful for the lesson.

With hope, Wendy